So I was flipping through Chuck Klosterman IV again the other day and was enjoying his questions, so I figured I'd share one every so often to encourage discussion and swearing.
You work in an office, performing a job you find satisfying (and which compensates you adequately). The company that employs you is suddenly purchased by an eccentric millionaire who plans to immediately raise each person's salary by 5% and extend an extra week of vacation to all full time employees.
However, this new owner intends to enforce a somewhat radical dress code: every day, men will have to wear tuxedos, tails and top hats (during the summer months, male employees will be allowed to wear grey three-piece suits on "casual Fridays"). Women must exclusively work in formal wear, preferably ball gowns or prom dresses. Each employee will be given an annual stipend of $500 to purchase necessary garments, but that money can only be spent on work-related clothing.
The new regime starts in three months.
Do you seek employment elsewhere?
You work in an office, performing a job you find satisfying (and which compensates you adequately). The company that employs you is suddenly purchased by an eccentric millionaire who plans to immediately raise each person's salary by 5% and extend an extra week of vacation to all full time employees.
However, this new owner intends to enforce a somewhat radical dress code: every day, men will have to wear tuxedos, tails and top hats (during the summer months, male employees will be allowed to wear grey three-piece suits on "casual Fridays"). Women must exclusively work in formal wear, preferably ball gowns or prom dresses. Each employee will be given an annual stipend of $500 to purchase necessary garments, but that money can only be spent on work-related clothing.
The new regime starts in three months.
Do you seek employment elsewhere?
posted by f theb at 12:12 PM
5 Comments:
I think that the terms satisfying and adequately need more definition. Is is satisfying like a snickers bar after a day of yardwork - or satisfying like the cigarette and beer you are having after destroying the hot co-ed twins that lived one floor up from you in the dorm?
Also - is it adequate like when Whistler's mother says dryly that it was adequate after experiencing the new employee's 7" thunderstick - or is it adequate like your mom says wryly after she gets a visit from Mike Honcho?
Because if it is Satisfying and Adequate in the latter sense - than I think you put up with the BS. If it is just regular satisfaction and adequacy - maybe the idea of riding the bus downtown in a tux everyday isn't worth it.
Additionally - if you are going to have the women wearing formal wear - do they have the talent to pull it off? Or is it going to be like when the lunch lady chaperones the prom and shows up in a brown dress that makes it look like a UPS truck was parked in the gym?
Career decisions are never as black and white as you would like them to be.....
I think that I'd start in the context of my present job. Obviously, I'd leave in a heartbeat because 5% of dick is just a little more dick, and I'm not wearing a tux while I sharpen skates.
But, I do like my job, for the most part, and I would, if asked or pressured, call it satisfying. I think that satisfying to me means that you will get hammered drunk (front row Skynard style) on a Tuesday night, knowing full well that you have to work the next morning, and it's not a big deal.
Then the next morning when you wake up in Eagan at 6:45 am at some dude's (chick's) house and your head feels like you got skull fucked by Milton Berle, you still go to work. You still go to work because you don't want to get fired because you like your job. You could get another job probably doing the same thing, but you like your current job enough to deal with some discomfort.
I believe that adequately in this scenario means living comfortably, but not out of the realm of believability. Adequately does not mean that Teeblah is pulling down $85,000 to do what ever it is that he is doing right now, unless he's an investment banker with 6 years experience or something.
As far as the women having the talent, just picture where you work right now. Is it worth it? I work with all high schoolers so it doesn't really count for me. Although the sewers would be interesting. Iz very niicee.
But I think even in a fictional job, I wouldn't do it. Too much effort, and $500 a year isn't going to pay for a few tuxes and dry cleaning for a year, which makes the 5% even less.
Not enough cash. 5% of 30k is 1500 or125 a month does taht even cover dry cleaning? I would probably stay on for a bit because this eccentric sounds pretty sweet.
On second thought doesn't one of those movie theaters in Oakdale make those kids where tux's? I mean it definitely could be worse. Plus an extra va-cay is nothing to sneeze at. I'm not sure I've ever had a paid vacation.
Well - you will now have the opportunity for your first paid vacation. It is as sweet as it sounds - I promise. Frolicking and pounding margaritas all day and knowing your paycheck will still be the same.....
And $125 a month may just cover dry cleaning - depending on how stinky you like the ass section of your slacks to be.....
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