Who the f is Whistler's Mother's Son?

Does anyone know if drinking to innebriation everyday while pregnant would gaurantee a miscarriage - or is there a chance you would just have a super retarded baby?

I was thinking about a public service announcement advising teenagers dealing with unwanted pregnancy of a cheaper, more fun alternative to the back alley abortion. I think Steven Levitt would agree.....

I've been working on a new mathematical equation that I think has some merit. It might be the key to unlock the space-time continuum and "time travel". It basically breaks down to this. This theory uses time as a speed.

t=(i*t)/10

Whereas t=speed of time, and i =internet. In layman's terms this means: The speed of time is equal to 10 times time when on the internet. Some of you international baccalaureate math students out there might deduce that the "internet" in this equation is equal to 10. You are an idiot. The internet is very clearly a "series of tubes". Jeez. Go do some homework or something and leave the big thinking to the trained bloggers:

Good Lord, there needs to be more action on this shit. Especially more drunk shit.


I'm drunk. I want to clairify that immediately. I was at Hollihan's for a good portion of the evening, wiht Dan and Mandi (his fiancee). Mandi is spelled with an I. I found that out tonight. I'm not sure how I feel about that right now. I asked her if she put a heart over it when she spelled it, and she replied "Sometimes, when I'm in the mood". Do you have to be in the mood to put a heart ovr your name??? Just a question. I have an I in my name, I never put a heart over it. Maybe a skull.... that would be fresh. Hollihan's may be the greatest bar in the history of history. Where else could you pay $3.50 for Sapphire(sp?) Tonics??

I think a National Wan + Mandi (with an I) day should be proclaimed... with myself as the DJ. I think I have a few songs in mind.... 1st... Bump and Grind (R Kelly)... I suggested either this or "YouRemind me of my Jeep" as their wedding song... I think they were into it. I'm thinking of the 4th of October or possibly the 3rd of November. Save the Date and all that.

I have nothing else. I hate myself. It took me a good 5 minutes to proofread this shit and I'm not sure it's all good at this point.

Fuck.

That's it, I'm ghost like Swayze.

F theb

Step one complete. I finally got a fricking picture for a header. I will be changing the header pic periodically so if you have something you would like to see up there, send it my way. I changed colors because I was messing around with alot of templates. I ended up doing the links over, not sure if I forgot some but I did add a few new ones (check out Jun's page). Ummm what else. Oh yeah, Im close to adding different pages. Is there any interest in this? Examples are:
A page for picture sets so if you have a few pics you can post them without taking up a shitload of space on the front.
Downloads page where I could provide files that you want (think music,video,software,requests, etc)
Essays/reviews/rants page. would it be better to seperate that type of thing into its own area?
I'm also very close to adding search capability for the growing archive.
I'm going to bed now.

Alright, time for the mega post. There has been a lot of stuff going on, World Cup, MLB hitting the half way point (plus my domination of fantasy baseball), Pirates of the Carribbean 2, Borat Movie, hot chocolate and huge northerns, terrorist pussies, Zizou headers and much much more.

I'll try and touch on a few things here, first up World Cup. Now I know Teeblahggers are relatively solid on the soccer appreciation tip, but I have to say this WC was tremendous and this guy may be the world's biggest idiot. Not often am I embarrassed to be a Minnesotan but this was definitely once. Here is some reaction. Apparently he still has his job.
Anyways, as I am sure you know by now the Italians have taken the cup despite being seriously outplayed for much of the final. It is too bad this game had to go to PK's but after running around for 120 minutes you have to do something. This totally played against the French however, as there their top penalty takers were off by the time it happened, Thierry Henry striker extraordinare gets cramped up and French captain/national hero/demi-god Zinedane Zidane gets a red card in the 110th minute for a sweet headbutt/spearing of Italian defenseman Marco Materazzi. Here's an alternate theory on what happened from the Daily show. I'm sure you can find a shitload more about the whole deal with not a lot of trouble so I'll leave it at that and get to the goals.
Here are some top goals from the first half of the tournament. Here are some more great goal clips from youtube, choose your own genre! CLUBMIX 50Cent! Eye of the Tiger! Shakira! (not just goals on this clip) Here is a cool one of sweet goals from previous WC's. And finally my personal Top 6, you've seen these in the other mixes but oh well.
6. Philip Lahm is a defenseman for christ's sake.
5. Argentina plays with the opposititon for a minute (24 PASSES) before Cambiasso's Finish.
4. Tomas Rosicky shits on USA's hopes early in the tourney.
3. Torsten Frings blazes a shot that is just stupid.
2. Maxi Rodriguez hits the game winner in the second round against Mexico.
1. England's Joe Cole is out of control.

On to baseball! The Twins seem to have some life in them thanks to Francisco Liriano, 10-1 1.83 ERA 102 k's and .97 WHIP, Justin Morneau .300 BA 23 HR 73 RBI .939 OPS and, Joe Mauer .378 BA 7 HR 45 RBI .981 OPS. They enter the break 9 games out of the wild card despite dropping 2 of 3 to the Royals and Rangers. That shit has to stop. Sure winning every game is a little much to ask but we need to take the series' against lower standing teams. If we drop another series to the Royals or the Mariners we will not make the playoffs. What's left of July is critical I'd say we have to win 12 of the 18 games left to be healthy come August. The final two months of the season will be great. If the Twins can get through it and into the playoffs, there is no reason they couldn't win the World Series.
Speaking of the golden boy, I'm not sure if I have this right but if Joe Mauer wins the batting title this year, can you imagine the tail he would get if this is what he is rolling with now? Side note, Is there anyway to look at a myspace page without having a brain aneurysm? Seriously 95% of the pages are downright impossible to look at, pictures every where, oversized and overlapping, background colors all fucked, unreadable text, sparkley moving GIFs and comments with no regards to anything stretching the bottom of the page for miles and top it all of with some shitty song.

I starting to get tired of this post and Blogger is scheduling an outage in a half hour so I'll cut the rest short.
Pirates 2 sucks. This movie is awful. This movie is worse than the LOTR. After watching this movie I challenge you to name a more worthless, completely transparent, obnoxious, money hungry ploy ever. And naturally it shatters all the box office records. Can't wait to see Pirates 3! PLEASE WATCH THIS INSTEAD.

Yeah. I'm definitely done for now.